Fool's April: the blog by kwugirl

paci: nobody will notice your flagrant grammatical mistakes as long as they're couched in gorgeous typography

amylin: I think google maps is God.
amylin: is that too much to assume? probably.
amylin: although if it is, God got me lost today on rt. 36.

[ed. note: a high school classmate named adrienne went by "age"]
joe hall: ::wants to go drinking with age to see if wine really does get better with her::

in his talk on his study abroad experience in paris:
sam: This is a picture of a cheese shop. By FAR, my favorite place in France was my neighborhood cheese shop.
sam: No, really. The cheese in America is always so packaged and...well. The cheese in America is just so repressed!
sam: And then you go to France, and you have the cheese there, AND THEN YOU LEARN WHAT THE REVOLUTION WAS ABOUT!

paci: in my opinion, any med school would instantly accept someone who fought mildew...and won.

random guy: so, like, i think i'm just, like, not all that articulate...

joe hall: Oh, about how summer makes you excited to see your friends, and that lasts until you actually see them!
joe hall: ::figured you would empathize!::

me: were you ever allergic to eggs?
dan: yeah, when i was younger... chicken, too.
serena: which one came first?

me: i think those extra holes in your sneakers are for ankle support
dan: eh, my ankles don't need them...they joined a support group months ago.

me: people are nuts in their hypen/dash usage!!
me: i wrote in a comment to one article, "this paper is so very dash-happy..."
sam: i think you should've written
sam: "this paper--despite certain positive qualities--is so very dash-happy..."

dan, to shoe salesman: do you have this in "left"?

me: yeah back when wearing shirts with random chinese characters on them was really popular, my dad was all, we need to start selling shirts that say "i am an idiot" or something
seth: i'm forced to comfort myself with the fact that japanese and filipino teens wear wacky english slogans
me: hahahaha, oh that's TRUE
me: so the conclusion is that teenagers around the world are ALL stupid
seth: regardless of race. how uplifting!

seth: i am ordering a t-shirt to wear in china!
seth: it says, "白人看不懂" (white person can't read understand)
seth: It'll be ironic!
seth: but also mostly true.

me: so what exactly is the relationship between Gadzooks and Forever21?
shopgirl: they're getting married.

me: ack, sorry, i got caught up in writing out a grocery list/planning meals to use up everything i have in the kitchen and to last me 2.5 weeks
dan: speaking of neurotic, i'm reading a book about freud for my euro class.

joe hall: I bet Dan's cute in bed.
me: don't be silly
me: dan's always cute
joe hall: Yeah. ::dreamy sigh::

me: how can you be driving during a blow job?! isn't that dangerous?
joe hall: Yeah... and it's tough to multitask.
joe hall: But, hey. Sex in a volvo is always safe sex.

dan: history roxx.

Neuroscience text: Opium was probably known to the ancient Sumerians around 4000 B.C. Their pictrograph for the poppy roughly translates to "joy plant."

joe hall: nalgene lantern = awesome for picking up chicks

me: well, they labeled one diagram, "the brainship enterprise"
me: so, you know
dan: haha.
dan: how nice
dan: tenure is

"Wordsworth in the Tropics," Aldous Huxley: The only completely consistent people are the dead.

amylin: BE MY HUSBAND, MR. THORNTON. PLZ.
amylin: he is my baby's daddy.
amylin: that's all i have to say 'bout that.

amylin: it's really odd how cold it's gotten. i think autumn just told summer, "girlfriend, you betta move it! (snap snap snap)"

joe hall: omg...
joe hall: whiny guys who lack self-confidence are so annoying.

seth: and take my shoes off at the door?
me: yeah, imo that's just good advice in general, i like having clean floors but i don't like vacuuming much...or mopping, ick
seth: laugh
me: lol, not bothering with asterisks or colon-colons anymore?
seth: i asked a chinese girl why it's so common in asian houses, and she said, "他们懒的" ["They're too lazy to do it (the cleaning)"]
me: LOL
seth: and yeah, i haven't been in the colon thing for awhile, cause i am also lan de
me: how chinese of you
seth: think that's chinese? you should see me lose half my territory to the jin during the song dynasty

duff: what's up
me: i'm in france, is what
duff: oooh, francy seeing you there

joe hall: I hate to break it to you my dear, but you're asian.
joe hall: You're going to be carded until you're like 50.

[ed. note: "you" = amylin, actually]

andrew: i love lena olin
andrew: i want to have her babies

psych prof: people consider me "fundamentally unproductive, but smart!"